Thursday, August 21, 2008 - 10:28 pm

Losing is not a sin, satisfied is.
Failing is not a sin, not perfect is.

With that mindset, I went into my 3rd amalgam re-test. With most people putting the AR test behind, the re-test is not the best confident booster. Having to do 3 AR before each re-test meant I am very far behind the rest and its not the best scenario to be in. It hits you mentally. Ultimately, I realised its not about the lack of skill but rather its a matter of mindset. If you don't strive for perfection, failure will strike you.

With Singapore winning its 1st medal since independence, mental strength became the talk of my mind. I need to have a gold medal mental strength. Strive for perfection, strive for gold. Top the class from this test. Putting the bad patch of life experienced recently behind, I entered the test.

I have never done a AR with so much care. I cherished every second and stayed focused. The 'winner' mindset didnt create miracle. I almost wanted to stop doing because I thought I was bound for failure with the outline form. With no alternative, go for plan B, salvage whatever is possible. The I want to top the class mindset is still present subconsciously. Doing, doing, drilling and smoothening.

Packing amalgam, my favourite part. Remembering what I read in the book, I followed it religiously. Craving and craving, I want a perfect morphology. Crave and condense, crave and condense, I think I over craved. Die liao...Plan B again, salvage whatever is possible.

Time up and wait for result. Looking forward to the A- on the board. It never came but a B+ was how much my re-test was worth. Pretty satisfied with it. I think its a good evidence, its the mindset that can bring you the distance.

I understand some freshies are disillusioned by the dental school, I was too. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and applause for those who stand firm with their points. My JC teacher told me that JC will stretch you to the maximum so that university is nothing. She is wrong, dental school squeeze every ounce of you dry. It's much worse than JC. To cope with it, constantly mentally re-fill yourself and be squeezed dry again and again. It teaches me that failure is not a sin, but not perfect is. I am still trying to find the balance in the paradox. I doubt I can but that's the fun part.

KeL|eNeRD